New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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