I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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