He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize