thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
