If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
