you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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