you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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