the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
