He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
