I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
