it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
