ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
