Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
