omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
...so i touched it.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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