i don't like sucking hair
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
