There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
