My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize
