my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
