You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
