If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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