you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You took a bar mat shot.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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