i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
