I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
