can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
