Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
