Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
