thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
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Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
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His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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