even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
