Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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