You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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