I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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