I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
