was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I am midnight drunk by noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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