can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
