Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Randomize
