i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
