Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
