Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
