i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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