Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Small penises have feelings too.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
