google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
They should really pass out barf bags in church
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
