So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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