You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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