somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
