Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
