cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She's the barista slut.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize