Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
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just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
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Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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