And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize