i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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