I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
