i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
