You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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