she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
