A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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