Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
