Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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