Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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