I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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