is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
