Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I had to cum in my sink.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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