That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
