so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You ruined the universe
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
