so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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