he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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