i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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