so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize